Facebook posting while Ironman racing???

Jenni Horton, like many athletes at Ironman Florida, was not racing for the first time. Although Jenni is an Ironman Veteran, she learned a valuable lesson at this race.  Jenni learned NOT to let her brother be in charge of her phone! Why, you may ask, would one not want to leave their phone in the charge of a sibling? Well, because it gives that sibling unlimited access to their facebook! And facebook was exactly what Jenni Horton’s brother chose to do all day long. Jenni’s brother posted status updates all day long, as if he were Jenni, imagining the things she MUST be thinking! Below are some of the posts from Jenni’s race day.

“When someone asked me if I wanted to do an Ironman I thought they were talking about doing some live action role playing from the movie series…”

“Just stopped to do a little alligator wrestlin’.”

“Don’t remember vertical ramps being a part of this but I just landed a wicked 540 backflip …”

“Just passed Petrino on the side of the road…he offered to give me a ride on his bike…”

“People questioned me when I bought this Dora the Explorer bike at Wal-mart, but look who’s laughing now!!!”

“Really glad I packed these baby back ribs in my race kit!”

“All those hours of just me and my thighmaster are finally paying off…thanks, Susanne Sommers!!!”

“Just shotgunned a Gatorade at the aid station…”

“Time to thank the sponsor of today’s bike leg, Activia! It really keeps me going!!!”

“Right left right left right left right left coast Right left right left right left right left coast Right left right left right left right left coast and repeat for 6 hours”

“I’m thinking the milk of magnesia in the last bottle wasn’t such a great idea…”

 “About 30 minutes or so before I get off the bike…good thing I’ve been doing the buns of steel videos”

 “Anyone want to the last 25 miles as a three-legged race? I rock at those things!!!”

 “Making good ground …apparently when you run on all fours and growl like a dog people will get out of your way…”

 “I want a hot dog real bad…”

 “Left right left right Left Right Left Right Shuffle shuffle shuffle”

 “You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out, you put your left foot in and you shake it all about…”

 “Will they help you with a wedgie at the aid station?!”

 “In regards to the wedgie question, the answer is no… But they will give you at wet wipe…”

 “Camptown races sing this song, do da do da”

 “Four score and seven years ago is when I started this race…”

 “Just got passed by Forest Gump…I guess he’s still running…”

 “FYI…the medics don’t think it’s funny when you collapse in front of the tent and pretend to not breathe…”

 “When life gives you lemons… Chunk those puppies at the person in front of you…”

 “Next year I run in corduroy pants…”

 “Just a little bit longer, gotta keep focu…SQUIRREL!!!”

 “The only thing keeping me going right now is knowing Justin Beiber will be awaiting me at the finish with open arms and a dozen roses…”

…..Thank you Jenni, for letting us use this hilarious situation for our Blog!